How to Recognize the Narrative That's Running Your Life

The scrub oak on the hillside, during my morning hike, doesn't look like much right now.  Brown and bare, still holding the shape of winter.  But I know what's happening underneath — the slow, invisible work of the roots, drawing up what's needed before anything shows above ground.

Most real change works this way.  Underground first.  Invisible for longer than feels comfortable.

And so does this kind of work — the quiet, honest work of noticing the story we've been living inside.

We All Live Inside a Story

Most of us, most of the time, aren't aware of it. 

We think we're simply seeing our lives clearly — our limitations, our possibilities, ourselves.  But often what we're seeing is a narrative.  One that was shaped over time, by experience, by the words of people around us, by a world that had strong opinions about who we were supposed to be. 

Have you ever noticed a belief about yourself that you've carried so long you stopped questioning whether it was actually true?  Something like: I'm not someone who finishes things. Or: I'm not creative. Or simply a vague sense that certain things are just not for me — without really knowing where that came from? 

That's the story.  And it's worth getting curious about. 

The Body Tends to Hold These Things

One of the things I find most fascinating — after more than 20 years working with people's bodies, first as a massage therapist and now as a BodyMind coach — is how much the body holds. 

If you're open to trying something, pause for a moment and think of a belief you carry about yourself.  Something around your worth, your capabilities, what's possible for you.  Just hold it gently in your awareness. 

Now notice — is there anything happening in your body as you sit with that?  A subtle tightening somewhere?  A shift in your breath?  A heaviness, or maybe a kind of flatness? 

That physical response isn't random.  The stories we carry tend to settle somewhere in the body.  They become part of how we hold ourselves — how we breathe, how we move, how we respond to the world.  This isn't a problem to fix.  It's simply information.  And information, once we can see it, gives us a choice. 

Reframing Isn't About Pretending

When people hear the idea of 'rewriting your story,' there's sometimes a natural resistance — and I think that's worth honoring.  It can sound like being asked to minimize what was hard, or to slap a positive spin on something that genuinely hurt. 

That's not what this is. 

Reframing a narrative doesn't mean erasing it.  It means finding a wider view.  It means asking — gently, without judgment — is this the only way to tell this story?  What else might also be true?  What has this experience made possible in me, even if I wouldn't have chosen it? 

There's an old understanding, found in many traditions, that story is medicine.  Not because stories fix things, but because the act of looking honestly at the narratives we carry — and choosing, consciously, how we want to relate to them — is one of the most quietly powerful things a person can do. 

The scrub oak on that hillside isn't trying to become a different kind of tree. It's just doing its underground work until it's ready to open again. 

There's something in that worth sitting with. 

A Simple Practice for This Week

If you'd like to explore this, here's an easy place to begin: 

Take a few minutes with a blank page and write:  The story I am living inside right now is... 

Let it be unpolished.  Let it be honest.  Then read it back with some distance — the way you might read something a good friend had written.  Notice what you see.  Not to judge it, but to get curious about it. 

•  Is this story true — all of it, or just parts of it?
•  Where did it come from?
•  Is it still serving you — or has it been running on old information?
•  What might you want to believe instead?

You don't have to have answers.  The noticing is enough to start.

If This Resonates

This April I'm hosting an intimate Story Circle Gathering — a small, unhurried evening for exploring these themes together.  We'll open with a grounding practice, journal, share in circle, and listen.  It's a space built on honesty and care, and it tends to be one of those evenings people leave feeling lighter than when they arrived. 

Thursday, April 23rd at 6pm in Colorado Springs. Space is limited to 10. 

→ Learn More & Reserve Your Spot 

Or if you'd like to go deeper in your own time, my private podcast — Celebrating Women Through Story — is a collection of real women sharing the narratives that changed their lives.  Sign up for access below. 

→ Sign Up for Celebrating Women Through Story 

www.breakthroughbodymind.com